Author: Hannah Clark, Sherwood Psychology

If you’re here, there’s a good chance you’re feeling overwhelmed—perhaps you’re seeking therapy to address constant procrastination, burnout, disorganization, or a sense of falling short. Maybe you’ve just learned you have ADHD, or you’ve suspected it for years. Or perhaps you’re realizing for the first time that your struggles have a name.

Here’s something you may need to hear:

You are not lazy.
You are not broken.
You’re dealing with a brain-based difference that affects something called executive functioning.

You’ve been navigating a brain that works differently, without the map or the tools you need, and therapy can help you learn how to work with your brain, not against it.

Let’s unpack that.

What Is Executive Functioning, and Why Does It Matter?

One of the most misunderstood aspects of ADHD in adults is how deeply it affects executive functioning.

Executive functioning helps you:

• Start tasks
• Stay focused
• Manage time
• Plan ahead
• Organize
• Control impulses and emotions
• Shift between activities
• Start and finish tasks
• Remember what’s important

Basically, it’s how we get stuff done.

How Does ADHD Disrupt Executive Function?

ADHD isn’t a matter of willpower. It’s neurological. Executive functions are directed by the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s control centre), which is the same brain region affected by ADHD. It also impacts the brain’s ability to regulate dopamine, which is a chemical essential for motivation and follow-through.

This can show up in ways that might sound familiar:

• Task initiation: You really want to start that project, but hours pass, and you’re still procrastinating or scrolling.
  
• Working memory: You walk into a room and forget why or lose your train of thought mid-conversation.
  
• Emotional regulation: Minor frustrations feel overwhelming; a small criticism lingers for days.
  
• Impulse control: You interrupt, overshare, or make quick decisions you later regret.

• Time blindness: You either underestimate how long something will take or lose track of time completely.

None of this is a character flaw. It’s executive dysfunction, and it’s a core part of how ADHD shows up in adult life.

It’s Not Laziness—It’s Neurological

People with ADHD often hear (or tell themselves):

• “You are so disorganized.”
• “You always make excuses.”
• “Just try harder.”

This is like telling someone with a broken leg to “just run.” These statements are hurtful because they tap into a belief many adults with ADHD carry: that you’re broken, incapable, or fundamentally flawed. But you’re not. You’ve been trying to navigate an invisible disability, often without recognition, support, or accommodations.

This blame masks the real issue: a disconnect between your intentions and your brain’s ability to act on them.

The truth is, ADHD can make ordinary tasks feel monumental. That’s not laziness; that’s an executive function challenge. 

Our therapists can help you reframe these struggles:

Can’t start that report? That’s task initiation, not laziness.

Constantly distracted? That’s a focus regulation issue, not a lack of willpower.

Feeling guilty all the time? That’s internalized shame, not truth.

These are symptoms of executive dysfunction, and we are here to support you through them.

Reclaiming Compassion and Clarity

Understanding how your brain works can feel like putting on glasses for the first time. Suddenly, everything looks clearer: the missed deadlines, the messy apartment, and the forgotten birthdays. It’s not a personal failure. It’s ADHD.

This doesn’t mean giving up on goals or using your diagnosis as an excuse. It means giving yourself context and compassion so you can begin building tools that work for your brain.

How Does Therapy Help?

Therapists can help you:

• Understand your ADHD profile and how it uniquely impacts you

• Externalize structure through planners, reminders, and routines 

• Build emotional regulation tools for overwhelm, impulsivity, or rejection sensitivity

• Practice self-compassion and challenge old narratives (“I’m just lazy”)

• Co-create systems that work for your brain, not against it

Simple Strategies That Work (and Why Therapy Helps You Stick with Them)

Therapy can help you find the right ADHD-friendly strategies, such as:

• Time chunking: Breaking the day into focused blocks with breaks to make it more manageable.
  
  
• Body doubling: Doing tasks alongside someone (even virtually) to increase motivation and accountability.
  
  
• Visual anchors: Using whiteboards, sticky notes, and cues in your environment to help stay organized and on task.
  
  
• Routine stacking: Linking new habits to existing ones to make routines easier.
  
  
• Naming emotions: Practicing mindfulness, identifying, and regulating emotional spikes before they derail you.

These tools aren’t about “fixing” you; they’re about empowering you. A therapist can guide you in trying these, adjusting them, and integrating them effectively without judgment or shame.

Conclusion: You Deserve Support, Not Self-Blame

If you’ve been beating yourself up for years for being “messy,” “inconsistent,” or “unmotivated,” pause here.

You’ve been coping with real neurological challenges, often without the support you needed.

Your diagnosis doesn’t define you, but it helps you understand your brain and opens the door to real support.

Understanding your brain is crucial for healing, rebuilding, and thriving with ADHD. Therapy can be a powerful step towards understanding your brain, reclaiming your story, and creating systems that allow you to thrive. 

So no, you’re not lazy.

You’re learning to lead with compassion.

And that’s brave.

Resources for Adults with ADHD

Whether you’re new to your diagnosis or looking to deepen your self-understanding, these tools and communities offer evidence-based guidance:

Books

• Driven to Distraction by Dr. Edward Hallowell & Dr. John Ratey
  
  
• Your Brain’s Not Broken by Tamara Rosier
  
  

Websites & Communities

• CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD)—Education and advocacy
  
  
• ADDitude Magazine—Practical strategies, expert advice
  
  
• How to ADHD (YouTube)—Engaging, research-informed videos
  

Need Help Navigating Executive Functioning and ADHD?

We are here to help! Contact us for a free consultation.